Our behavior changes according to people, and we do not notice it.
It is explained scientifically that hidden mechanisms that basically “control” what we do and say. After 3 decades’ worth of aggression research, psychology professor Deborah South Richardson explains why our behavior varies depending on the people around us, and what prompts changes in our behavior.
We spend our time with random people, acquaintances, or strangers. We are at work or at school, and we show our happy face in front of others and be at our best behavior. Because we want to look kind and cultured in front of others. But when we come home or when we’re in the company of people we’re close to, we put all that aside, and show the real self.
That’s because we feel comfortable with the people we love, and those who understand us.point 190 | But being ourselves means showing every side of our character, including the bad side.point 263 |
According to the study we are prone to unconsciously releasing our anger toward the people we feel closest to because we know that the relationship with them is strong enough to endure it.point 156 | The closer we get to someone, and the more trust we’ve established, the more we feel like we can push the limits of that relationship.point 268 | 1
When we meet new people, we don’t show them our real side. They simply don’t get to see the real version of us until we get to the point where we develop a deeper connection with them.
When our loved ones do something that we don’t like, we feel more comfortable enough to bring it up.point 194 | Because we are comfortable with our family members or significant others, so we can tell them about the things we dislike about them.point 305 |
We share that kind of relationship with them that we know won’t get jeopardized, even if we yell and fight with each other on occasion.point 113 | 1
And also, when you spend more time with someone, the less tolerant you become of their negative quirks. This doesn’t happen with strangers because you spent less time with them to develop this intolerance for their personal characteristics.
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