Having babies is the most beautiful thing, but some people are unlucky in that matter.
Adopting a child is a good thing, but who adopt a child? People who can’t have their babies? Kind and wealthy people? Celebs? No. As a rule, ordinary families usually adopt children from orphanages.
They understand that kids shouldn’t grow up without parents, they realize that every child deserves to live in comfort and love, and they want to at least give one orphan a chance to live a normal life.
One of these people is Daria Moguchaya. She adopted a girl named, Vasilisa when she was 2 years old. Daria doesn’t seem herself a hero or a superwoman. She just talks about the life of her family after making this brave decision.
Bright Side shared her story!
In my diary, some notes go back to 2008 that say I want to adopt a child.
I was 21 then. I don’t know where this decision came from. Maybe it’s all because of my grandparents. They used to work with orphans and I was always around.
When I was almost 25 and already married, I started volunteering at a local orphanage. I sent letters and packages to a girl.”
“Then I read different stories about adoption on the internet, but they all looked fake, and I didn’t trust them. Then I found an internet forum with real moms, children, and their stories. I read them, learned from, and even met these people together with my husband.”
“I looked through databases, watched documentary films, and was still a volunteer at an orphanage. Then my husband and I graduated from adoption school. By the way, he wasn’t obligated to do that.
Then our first son Luka was born, and I forgot about this idea for a while.”
“Then his first teeth started to come in, and I thought, “Who comforts orphans when they suffer from pain?” When Luka woke up at night, he was scared and started crying if I wasn’t by his side. What do orphans feel in situations like that? They also cry. But Luka always knows that I’ll come and be there for him. And what about orphans? Their mothers won’t come.
Then, I started thinking about it again.”
When I got pregnant, I found a photo of an 8-year-old girl. The caption said she was deaf.
“It turned out that she had a hearing aid in one of her ears, so she could at least hear something.
I decided to try to adopt her. But my request was rejected. They were like, “Are you crazy? Give birth to your child first, don’t mess around.” I was 7 months pregnant at the time.
Then they called and offered me an 8-month-old boy and his 10-year-old sister. We met the boy but refused the offer: his age wasn’t suitable for us, we didn’t feel he could be a member of our family, and we didn’t think we could cope with his sister. There were no psychologists in our town who could help us with her psychological trauma.
My husband said he probably wasn’t ready for this step. I also calmed down, though I continued to call different orphanages.”
“My husband said he wanted to adopt children, but not now. He was more rational than I was: we had a one-bedroom apartment, a baby, and I wasn’t employed.
Eventually, we moved and rented 2 bedroom apartment (we’d have gone crazy with an adopted child in a small apartment) and I started working as a freelancer.”
We learned about Vasilisa from my forum acquaintance
“She gave me the link and recommended that I have a look at her, but she also said she had a brother.
Yes, the database said she had siblings. But when I called the orphanage, they said that her brother was already adopted. As a rule, siblings are not supposed to be separated, but when one of them is disabled, their brother or sister is given a chance to find a family. The girl had cerebral palsy and many other diseases. I asked if she could stand, but they said she couldn’t…
But I’d spent too much time reading stories on the forum: experienced moms said that you had to go and have a look at the children with your own eyes. I asked my husband if we could and promised to forget about this idea for one year. Well… 6 months, at least.”
“So there we were. My husband and Luka were waiting in the hall, I was listening to the head physician tell me about her diagnoses. I was keeping calm and nodding my head.”
“I was afraid to turn around. But when I did turn around, I realized she looked like Luka. We went to a playroom and Vasilisa was walking on her own.
So she can stand and even walk?
She’s started walking recently, right?
Well, we had finally met her. My husband had seen her once when we met her, then in a video, I sent to him, and when we were bringing her home. I saw her 5 times in total and nothing special had happened. We just thought we could become her parents. And we did it!”
“Theoretically, I knew everything. I thought I wouldn’t have to face an impossible task, I just had to give her love…
I looked through the cute kids only and made sure their parents were already deprived of parental rights. I cried when orphans I liked were adopted. This was even before I had gotten all the necessary documents, and even before I graduated from adoption school.”
“I didn’t judge, but I think I just didn’t understand those foster moms who didn’t love their children but still raised them. Now I think, “So what do you mean? Do you want them to live together for a month and be like, ’OK, I wasn’t able to fall in love with this baby, I have to return them and take another one’?”
“I thought love came by default. Then I started paying attention to children who weren’t that cute, then even disabled kids didn’t scare me anymore.
Someone should adopt disabled orphans. Why not adopt these children?
I thought I’d share my love and cuddles, and that they’d appreciate it and love me back.
I didn’t think about where this love would come from. In my dreams, I’d feel that it was my baby or at least I’d have a prophetic dream. I was so silly.”
“Everything turned out to be more simple, without any romantic moments or prophetic signs. I saw her photo, called the orphanage, met her 5 times, signed a form, and took her home. Now I wash, feed, cuddle, teach, and socialize her.
This is what our life looks like.”
“I needed as much information as possible. Does she suffer from autism? Will she be able to learn? Will we be able to live with her?
Nowadays, even before getting married, we find out everything about each other, we live together, and then we make a decision. An orphan is like a husband from the past: here you are, live together. Learn to understand and love them, and discover their character traits.
With a husband, there’s chemistry between you, with a child, hormones play no role in your relationship. It might work with a baby, but I’m not sure.
Be realistic. Yes, love is a goal. But it also requires hard work and daily effort.”
Go and love.
Vasilisa’s biological mother is almost my age. She’s had, 4 children. She was deprived of her parental rights due to her alcohol abuse.
“It’s not difficult to not get angry with her: as far as I know, she didn’t do any intentional harm to Vasilisa.point 214 |
As for judging… In the past, I’d have said, “If she wouldn’t stop drinking, then she didn’t want her children.point 105 | ” But I’m not 21 or 25, my life has already taught me some lessons, and I’ve found myself in situations I thought I’d be judgmental of.point 222 |
To be able to not judge is a really useful skill.point 39 | And it’s really difficult to learn how to not judge, right.point 90 | ”point 93 | 1
“It’s easy to be kind when you have a husband. Could I find and help her? I could. But I don’t do this. I don’t want her to take Vasilisa away. And I’d experience unpleasant emotions if she wanted to be with a woman who’d never taken part in her life.
But it’s not about my feelings. It’s all about Vasilisa’s decisions. If at some point she wants to meet, communicate, and take care of her biological mother, it’d mean that we’ve raised a good person. A person who can forgive, be caring, and who can love.”
Around 500,000 people follow Daria on Instagram. Many people have decided to adopt a child thanks to her support.