Gemma Threlfall John had never thought her most special day would turn into a nightmare and her married life will be a torture for her.
The 36-year-old mum ditched her second husband after he started becoming violent and cheated on their wedding day.
After their wedding reception, Gemma and Andy Barfield arrived in their hotel room where the newlywed was shocked to know the truth of her husband. Andy had passed out drunk and the excited bride thought to change her Facebook status to married so she picked up his phone and what she found disturbed her.
She saw her husband’s account was logged in and there was an exchange of nasty messages, videos and pictures with a woman. She claimed that her husband even sent a message to one woman on their wedding day.
Gemma left heartbroken and she decided to confront Andy who admitted sending the messages and apologized. She forgave him but had to pay for her forgiveness six months later.
Andy hit Gemma and was jailed for four months. She said: “Getting with Andy was a big mistake. Now I hope we never see him again.”
Gemma previously got married to delivery driver Nigel Johns, 33 in 2012 but decided to leave after their relationship had become dull. Then she met Andy at a house party of mutual friends.
She said: “He was charming and kind and, as we grew closer, I loved how good he was with the kids too. Things were over with Nigel, Andy was there, and when he pursued me things just developed from there. We were friends at first but I soon fell for him and within a few weeks he’d moved in.”
In July 2013, Gemma fell pregnant and the couple welcomed a son.point 176 | Soon, Andy proposed to Gemma for marriage in a restaurant surrounded by their kids and friends.point 258 |
Gemma got pregnant again when their son was three months old and the plan of the wedding was postponed.point 85 | According to Gemma, the attitude of Andy changed when the pregnancy progressed.point 153 | 1
She said: “He stopped helping out around the house and became lazy. He would snap at me and the kids over nothing and spent hours playing on his Xbox.”
She kicked out Andy but when they became parents of a baby girl they decided to have a fresh start. Gemma said: “I was keen for us to be a proper family, we both wanted to marry. When New Year came round we decided 2015 would be our year and we started planning properly.”
They decided to tie the knot in August 2015 and booked Darlington register office for the ceremony, followed by a reception at the local leisure center with 50 guests.
Gemma said: “It was more low-key than my wedding to Nigel, but I didn’t want a big fanfare again. We couldn’t afford anything fancy and didn’t care about any of that anyway.”
“On our wedding day, I was nervous and emotional, but so happy. During the ceremony, Andy and I both cried tears of joy, and when we got into our limo to go to the reception. I felt like I’d never been happier.”
After drinking the champagne at the reception, Andy passed out. Gemma said: “He was out for the count but I was wide awake, so I thought it would be nice to update our relationship status on Facebook to “married”. I didn’t have my phone on me, so I grabbed his, which didn’t have a password on, and thought I’d update it on his profile.
“When I logged into my account and saw a new message on the app, I assumed it was for me and was a friend saying congratulations. But when I clicked into the app, I realized it was still logged into Andy’s account.
“The message was from another woman. When I clicked into it and saw all the filthy messages and videos, I felt sick.
“I was heartbroken and devastated, I could barely bring myself to read them but I saw they had been going on for at least a month.”
Before confronting Andy, Gemma messaged the other woman instead. She claims the other woman apologized and said she didn’t know about their marriage. They met during Andy and Gemma’s two-week split while he was in Carlisle, Cumbria, and slept together.
But the other woman said the messages were “just a bit of fun.” When Andy woke up, he was apologetic as Gemma said: “He knew he’d been rumbled, and just kept saying sorry.’’
“He said he’d been stupid but wanted to make sure he was ready to settle down, and it didn’t mean anything. He said the messages had only been going on for a few months.”
Gemma decided to give Andy a second chance as she didn’t want to break her family. But six months later, Andy hit her and in February 2016 he admitted assault and was jailed for four months.
But Gemma still visited him in prison every week for two months. She said: “Andy kept saying how sorry he was, and he’d never really been violent before so I didn’t want to throw everything away. We went on courses. He swore he’d never do anything like it again.”
In November 2017, Gemma claimed that Andy had cheated her again. Gemma’s first husband Nigel constantly supported her during all the ups and downs and the pair reunited.
Last year they welcomed another baby girl. Gemma said: “Sometimes I wish Nigel and I’d never split, but I’m so happy we’re back together. He was there for me through everything. Now we’re happier than ever.”
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