Pregnancy can be both physically and mentally exhausting but having a partner to help out with work and household chores can make things a little easier.
But one husband found himself doing “100% of the chores” despite working full-time.
The unnamed man took to Reddit and asked if “am I the a***le?” for asking his pregnant wife to do some housework as he’s starting to get a little burnt out.
“My (29M) wife (27F) is 24 weeks pregnant and so far it has been a fairly easy pregnancy (according to her and her doctor, not making assumptions of course). I have done my best to be a good husband.
“I work full time, started doing all the chores (cooking/cleaning/pet care), and of course try my best to accommodate her cravings. She has been taking it easy and spends most of her day relaxing. She says she’s “never felt better,” he wrote.
“Being completely honest, I’m starting to get a little burnt out.point 166 | I love my wife and want her to be comfortable while pregnant but working full time and doing 100% of the chores is very draining.point 271 |
I recently had two separate conversations asking if she’d be willing to do a 80/20 chore split instead, but both times she got offended,” the husband continued.point 138 | 1
“She says that it would stress her out and possibly harm the baby, which scared me (I don’t want anything to happen to our baby), so of course I didn’t push it.”
He further said: “Yesterday morning (2am) my wife woke me up and asked me if I could go to the store for fruit snacks. She was craving them badly. I have made many late nights runs but this week has been so stressful for me; I worked overtime the entire weekend and a deadline is approaching. I told her I was sorry but I really needed to rest, I was exhausted.
“She did not like this answer. First she tried to beg more but I kept saying no. This went on for a half hour. Then she started crying and telling me what a shit husband I was being. She also said she’s “scared to see me as a father if this is how selfish I am.”
“I snapped at her. I told her I’ve been taking care of 100% of the responsibilities for the past 6 months. She’s been sitting on her phone every single day and hasn’t had to lift a finger. Then I said I was done doing 100% of the chores and we need a more even split because I was losing hair from stress. I will admit I had a tone and was obviously irritated. This caused her to cry more and she kicked me out to the couch.”
He added: “This has caused a huge rift between us. She was pissed at me the entire day and locked me out of the bedroom tonight. My MIL has texted me to call me an asshole. They both said the stress I am putting on my wife will hurt the baby so now I feel super guilty. I need perspective. AITA?”
Many people said that it was his wife who was being unfair.
One commented: “Unless it is high risk, your wife can work, do chores, ALL while carrying a child. You are being royally manipulated and taken advantage of… I am sorry.”
Another wrote: “Most women literally hold on to their full-time jobs six months into their pregnancy and beyond. Why is she not even capable of doing light housework?”
A third added: “She’s pregnant, not on her death bed.”
One mom also said: “I’ve been pregnant four times, all high risk, and not once has my doctor told me not to do regular household chores. If anything, he encouraged it because it kept me active and reduced the amount of issues I could have.”
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