A transgender father has opened up about his parenting experience and revealed why he wants to raise his kids as genderless.
20-year-old Maine-based Sav Butler is a stay-at-home transgender father-of-two who came out at the age of 18 after struggling with his gender identity for years.
As the young man, who recently welcomed baby Eden into his family, added, he refuses to tell anyone what his baby’s sex is because the child has yet to develop his own gender identity.
According to Sav, he intends to put gender on hold until Eden is at least three years old so that the child can discover these things on its own.
“I don’t want my kids to look back on their childhood and feel pain, which a lot of trans people have experienced and can understand,” he explained.
“My journey as a trans person definitely has something to do with how I parent. I came out after I moved out at 18 years old but I knew I was trans by the time I was five years old because I didn’t feel comfortable in my own body.
“I shortened my name and started hormone therapy and I’m about to get back on hormones now that I’ve given birth.”
As the 20-year-old added, he doesn’t like it when “weirdos” ask him about the gender of his two babies because they have yet to figure these things out. He also fought back against negative comments and people who call him names on the internet.
Though some may not agree with the way he’s raising his children, Sav insists that he is only doing what’s good for his children.
“I don’t want them to be referred to as something they’re not and have their memories end up being bad, I just want them to know that they are accepted,” he explained.
“It will also make them understand more about different identities and help them to find themselves quicker … By three years old they’re talking and can understand and tell you their gender identity so they can tell people themselves eventually.”
The father also hit back at critics who are accusing him of confusing his kids by raising them as genderless as he called the argument hypocritical and suggested most parents make a mistake by forcing a specific gender identity on their baby based on the child’s biological sex.
“Gender doesn’t equal sex and I get annoyed because people ask what the gender of the baby is but babies don’t have gender identities yet – all they know is poop, pee, eat and sleep,” Sav elaborated.
“When I refuse to answer what the ‘gender’ of the baby is, people are usually confused or angry. They say it’s not my decision to make for the baby which is obviously hypocritical because babies have their genders assumed at birth every day.”
As Sav added, he will love his children no matter what they choose to be and will allow them to wear whatever clothes they want after they’ve found their gender identity.
He also encourages fellow parents to give gender-neutral parenting a try for the sake of their children.
“Kids understand themselves more than we give them credit for. They have a grasp on gender identity by the time they are three and can express themselves and talk,” he concluded.
“My three-year-old probably knows more about gender than most grown adults. I use books to help explain it to them. It doesn’t have to work for everybody but it works for our family.”
What are your thoughts on this matter? Let us know in the comments and don’t forget to SHARE this post with your family and friends. For more news and stories, follow us on Facebook!