One stepmom was branded an ‘a**hole’ online after she asked if she was in the wrong for not including her husband’s children in her big family announcement.
In the ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum on Reddit, the woman explained that she has been in a relationship with her husband for five years.
They have a 2-year-old daughter together and her husband has two children, aged 9 and 10, from a previous relationship.
When the couple found out that she is pregnant again, the stepmom decided to make a big announcement with a photo of her daughter wearing a shirt with the words ‘big sister’ on it.
Her husband was left disappointed when he saw the photo as his two daughters were not included.
“I decided to order a big sister shirt for my daughter and snapped a few pictures to send to my extended family (aunts/uncles/cousins),” the woman wrote on Reddit.
“The pictures came out cuter than I expected, and I asked him if it was okay with him if I posted them to social media. He said that not having the older girls in the picture made him feel like he has two separate families. I pointed out that, in a way, he does.
“All four of the girls are his daughters, but they aren’t all mine. The older girls are very close to their mom, and I explained to him, that although they are part of our family, I am not their mom and they will never view me as such, and being a step-mom is very different than being a mom.”
She added: “At the end of day it’s not really a huge deal to me, I don’t post on social media frequently, but this whole situation has me feeling upset.
I feel like he wants to pretend that we are not a blended family.I mean he does have two kids with one woman and two kids with another. And I feel like he doesn’t acknowledge that, or the fact that, although the girls are all equal, they are different because they don’t have the same moms.
Hundreds of people replied to her post and many took the father’s side.
“It’s not like including them in the picture means that you’re their mom. It just means you’re a good stepmom,” one person wrote.
“Your husband stated that he feels like he has two families rather than one blended family. Rather that reassuring him, you agreed and stated that he does. Aren’t you just a special kind of AH to your husband here by telling him this,” another commented.
“Including all the children doesn’t mean that they view you as their mother. It doesn’t take anything away from your pregnancy or your children. It recognizes that this baby has more siblings than just the one. It’s about including the entire family, not just the chosen ones.”
A third added: “YTA.He wants he’s older girls to be included with his younger girls. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
By keeping them separate, YOU’RE the one pretending you don’t have a blended family.You have to be together to blend. If its not a big deal to you, why can’t you include your step children? I mean, its no a big deal, right?”
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