Pets are our precious treasures, and if something happens to them, all hell breaks loose as we begin to panic. Sometimes, however, a seemingly dire situation can turn out to be a hilarious false alarm. That’s exactly what happened to the parents below as they took their son’s lizard to the vet.
After finishing their dinner one day, the parents received terrible news from their son who came rushing in their room. He said that something is wrong with one of his lizards and asked his dad for help. “He’s just lying there looking sick. I’m serious, Dad. Can you help?” the son pleaded.
After the father went to his room, he found the lizard looking stressed and lying on his back. He called his wife who believed that the lizard is pregnant and about to have babies. “But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom,” her son explained. The father was also outraged. “Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn’t want them to reproduce,” he said to his wife. “You were supposed to get two boys!” he accusingly reminded her.
By then, the whole family gathered and got ready to witness the miracle of birth. “Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience,” the father said. His wife wasn’t as pleased as she couldn’t help but wonder what they’ll do with all the baby lizards.
The family carefully observed the patient and noticed what reminded them of a tiny foot. It appeared for a second then vanished. “We don’t appear to be making much progress,” the father said.
His son urged him to do something to assist the labor. “Okay, okay,” the father promised and began grabbing and tugging the ‘foot’ as it kept on appearing and vanishing. After trying several times, the family realized this wouldn’t work. “Let’s get Ernie to the vet,” the dad suggested.
The vet proceeded to thoroughly examine the lizard under a magnifying glass. “What do you think, Doc, a C-section?” the father inquired. The vet responded by saying “Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?”
The parents’ son stepped outside, and his mother asked the vet if Ernie will be okay. “Oh, perfectly,” he assured them. “This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn’t ever going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um… masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back,” the vet continued.
After a moment of awkward silence, the mother burst into laughter with tears running down her cheeks. ”It’s just that I’m picturing you pulling on its… its… teeny little…” she responded after her husband confronted her. “That’s enough,” he said and hurried back to their car together with the perverted lizard.
“I know Ernie’s really thankful for what you did, Dad.” his son told him after the examination. “Oh, you have no idea,” his mother agreed while collapsing in laughter.
While the lizards, a cage, and the trip to the vet surely cost them a lot, the family is left with a precious memory – their father/husband pulling on Ernie’s tiny winky!
If this story made you laugh out loud, don’t forget to share it with your friends and other lizard owners!