Marriage is the most beautiful thing and everyone wants to get married.
But, not everyone is lucky to get a perfect partner or a perfect marriage. Life is all about ups and downs and marriage also faces this problem. Marriage is the most beautiful part of life, when we get married we expect a lot of things from our partner, but sometimes nothing goes right and marriage breaks on a sour note.
The most important thing to keep your married life happy is the understanding between you and your partner, adjustment on little things can save your marriage.
Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse.
Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude, and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
We share some common phases which every married couple face! And if you can overcome these problems you can have a happy married life.
1 Criticism
Not everyone can take criticism positively. It can become a huge problem, especially between partners.
Dr. John Gottman writes in his book The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse “When you criticize your spouse, you’re trying to say that there is something wrong with them. Using words like “you always” or “you never” are very common and don’t lead to a positive result. Most likely your partner will start to defend themselves.”
Talk with your partner to make a direct complaint and to not make direct attacks to their personality.
2 Resistance and stonewalling
It becomes a huge problem when your partner builds a wall and doesn’t want to talk or solve a problem. It seems like they don’t care at all and are just ignoring you.
Dr. John Gottman says that 80% of men are like this. It looks like he doesn’t care, but actually, he does. It is important to identify the signs of when your spouse is emotionally overwhelmed and to not push them.
Discuss the problem at the right time when you are calmer.
3 Attraction to someone else
This sounds surprising, but 70% of women in relationships admit that they have crushes. The attraction is a normal feeling and it doesn’t mean that want to cheat.
The important thing is to not overreact on these feelings and to be conscious of what you are doing. Trust is one of the most valuable things in a relationship.
4 Contempt
Contempt comes from moral superiority. It can be sarcasm, eye-rolling, and hostile humor and it is always destructive for any relationship.
You should know how to express appreciation and gratitude. It is like a mirror. The more you will be positive, the less you express contempt.
5 Acceptance and forgiveness
This is the stage where we realized that we can not solve problems in a way as we did before.point 326 |
Everyone has their ways to deal with problems: some talk to close friends and family, others read self-help books.point 96 | Now we are ready to forgive our partner for their stubbornness.point 149 | Accept their good qualities with the bad one.point 187 | Fights happen less frequently and we find that we are not so emotional anymore.point 253 |
point 0 | 1
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