Everyone knows that being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world, if not the toughest. If you’ve ever had to watch children for a day or two, you know how much of a handful they truly are. Even when they’re calm they’re still running around!
Moms can never rest and they always need to be on high alert. Your child’s safety is always your top concern, but also making sure they’re happy and healthy.
A mom’s job is never truly done and it can take a lot out of even the most prepared moms. From the outside motherhood seems easy, but the moment you decide to become one until the moment you give up is utter hell!
Unsurprisingly, this amount of stress and constant working can take its toll on even the best of mothers. Even just a single night off is a blessing that not all mothers can have. For those moms who can never truly relax, it’s not surprising that they tend to lose it some of the time.
Down below is a list of some hilarious mothers who come hell or high water are still holding it together, if only barely.
Mom has a ‘drinking problem’
My family thinks short term memory loss is adorable when a fish has it in Finding Dory, but when I have it, “Mommy has a drinking problem”.
— Tara Brown (@Faux_Ma) June 21, 2016
Sometimes kids say the darnedest things, other times they’re saying it about you!
Whatcha drinking Mom?
7yo: Why can’t I have coffee?
Me: It’ll make u even more energetic than u already are
7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) August 13, 2016
It’s no secret the only thing that keeps me going at this point is coffee. I can’t imagine if my kids ever got a hold of it!
Fighting Over The Kids
My husband and I talked about getting a divorce, but neither one of us wants the kids.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s)🎭 (@3sunzzz) August 25, 2016
Don’t lie, you’ve been there too!
The Never-ending Battle
Parenting is fun if you’re into things like cooking for people who aren’t hungry.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 9, 2016
This is why I never learned how to cook well. If they’re not going to eat why put in the effort?
I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 7, 2016
But is it contagious?
Ending things with a bang…
If you haven’t used a juice box as a chaser, then you probably haven’t reached your lowest point in parenting yet.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) September 19, 2015
Or is it a whimper? I’m not sure anymore!
Saturday morning wake up: 6:30am
Sunday morning wake up: 5:47am
Monday morning: 8:12am still sleeping & missed the bus
— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) November 23, 2015
Why do they never sleep in on the weekends like they do on the weekdays?
Patience Is A Virtue
We plan to be kind patient moms who accept our kids exactly as they are then we see them take 45 mins to eat a goddamn bowl of Lucky Charms.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 18, 2016
The true test of patience is watching a child spend an hour eating their cereal
Always Stay In School
Stay in school, kids.
No, I mean really. Don’t come home. We need a break.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) June 2, 2015
Wait… Is this why my mother always told me to do every after school activity I could?
A Game All Moms Play Everyday
Let’s play a game called How Many Times Will Mommy Repeat Herself Before She Loses Her Shit?
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) December 3, 2015
I’m not sure any Mom ever wins this game
The Times Have Changed
When I was 8 yrs old, I walked to school by myself; now you have to hold your kid’s hand right up to their first drug deal.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) April 22, 2016
If only there was a middle ground between the two!
Listen To Me Clearly
What I say:
Get in the car
What my kids hear:
Have a snack
Shriek like monkeys
Open 3 umbrellas indoors
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 17, 2016
That’s not even close to what I said kids. Get in the damn car before Mom goes crazy!
The Things You Learn As A Mother
Before I had kids, I didn’t even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 3, 2014
Forget nukes, we need to get granola bars out of the hands of our children!
No More IKEA
Me:”If you ever give me another gift with ‘some assembly required’, you’re dead to us.”
6:*writing thank you card* But, um..
Me: Write it!
— Mom Psychologist (@mompsychologist) August 28, 2016
Seriously, I am still looking for that screw for our new desk.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don’t have to share.
— Abhorrent Housewife (@abhorrent_wife) September 27, 2012
It’s the little things that make us through the day, but sometimes we really need those little things.
Daughter: You’re invading my personal space
Mom: You came out of my personal space
— Moe (@_Mo_lee_) January 8, 2016
Some children forget they owe their entire world to us.
Think Smart, Don’t Work Hard
New plan. Instead of exercising & eating better, I’m just going to tell everybody I’m 4 months pregnant.
For the rest of my life.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) January 23, 2016
Hopefully no one else notices
Cooking With The Kids
Me on Instagram: Made cupcakes w the kids, love them so much
Me for real: YOU’RE GETTING EGGSHELLS IN THE BATTER JESUS CHRIST LET ME DO IT
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 12, 2017
Lord, give me the strength to finish this cake.
A Fairy Tale Story
My Daughter wants a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house.
— Tara Brown (@Faux_Ma) September 12, 2013
It would certainly be the memorable party for everyone, especially Mom!
The Ugly Truth
“Please go play with your brother. That’s basically the reason we had him.”
— Ramblin’ Mama (@ramblinma) May 2, 2016
No one is ever proud to admit the truth, but sometimes it needs to be said!
Real Life Experience
My kids wanted to know what it’s like to be a Mom so I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 10, 2016
Now our children can know what it’s really like to be a Mom.