A 46-year-old father has ended his 19-year marriage to have a polyamorous relationship with two other women.
Shai Fishman from Pennsylvania had been married to his ex-wife, Danielle for almost two decades when TV shows ‘Married and Dating’ and ‘Big Love & Polyamory’ inspired him to try out an anti-monogamy relationship.
He then started reading about the topic and finally realized that monogamous marriage was not what he wanted, saying it did not meet all six of his ‘core human needs’: to feel safe, significant, loved, and to have growth, service, and variety.
Shai and his wife separated in 2014 after trying to have polyamory for seven months.
It was in 2016 when Shai met Krissy, 41, and Lea, 40, on an online dating site.
Both Krissy and Lea wrote in their profiles that ‘polyamory not for me’ but Shai opened their ‘monogamous eyes.’
Danielle is now living in a dwelling on the trio’s shared property along with her new boyfriend Mike and three children.
“I subscribe to the Tony Robbins philosophy that we can all measure our life fulfillment based on six core human needs that either get met or don’t,” Shai expressed.
“These are feeling safe, significant, loved, and also having variety, growth, and service. Whilst my marriage with Danielle might’ve seemed perfect by other people’s standards, I was only getting the needs of safety, significance, and love.
“This is an all too common consequence of only having one option for loving which is ‘monogamy by default’. Most people don’t realize there’s another option on the menu.”
He added: “I believe Lea had mismatched values with her ex-husband and I think there were also feelings for other people which her marriage didn’t allow her to explore.
“I met Krissy five months after meeting Lea – both on a dating site. They both listed themselves as monogamous and ticked ‘polyamory not for me’ but I don’t let that stop me from connecting. You never know how open-minded someone may be.
“In fact, I’ve probably dated more monogamous women than I can count and I’ve had many conversations and minds opened. If the majority of monogamous relationships fail, people inevitably have questions so they say let’s look at this other option.”
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