When the husband finished reading a book entitled, “You Can Be The Man Of Your House,” he quickly went to his wife in the kitchen and said:
“From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of fun that I want.
Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back, towel me dry, and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
The wife quickly replied, “The damn funeral director would be my first guess.”
86-Year-Old Man Tells Doctor 20-Year-Old Bride Is Pregnant
The elderly man visited his doctor for a regular checkup. The doctor asked him how he was feeling. The 86-year-old man said, “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doc?”
The doctor pondered and started to tell him a story.
“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.”
“As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge. He realized he left his gun at home, and so, he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it was his favorite hunting rifle, and yelled ‘bang bang’. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell dead.”
“Now, what do you think of that?” the doctor asked.
The old man replied, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a few rounds into that beaver.”
And the doctor replied, “My point exactly.”
Do you have hilarious jokes that you’d like to share? Feel free to leave them in the comments section below!