Hull City Council ordered grieving parents to remove all decorations, including flowers and toys, that they’ve placed on their stillborn daughter’s grave shortly after her burial.
Following the inconsiderate letter that the couple received, 34-year-old Tony Wilson and Kelly Desborough spoke out and explained that the Council told them their baby Ebonie’s grave was featuring “unauthorized memorabilia” and ordered them to remove all objects because they are “encroaching on the neighboring grave and also causing an obstruction to the Council’s grass cutting machinery.”
The heartbroken couple, who have just lost their daughter, decorated Ebonie’s grave in Eastern Cemetery, Hull, with flowers, toys, and a mini fence.
According to Tony and Kelly, the council’s letter demanding for the memorabilia designed to look like a fairy garden to be removed “re-opened old wounds” and made them feel even more “heartbroken.”
“I cried my eyes out when I read the letter sent by the council – it was just how they sent it with absolutely no warning or consideration of how it would make us feel,” Kelly said.
“The letter was completely generic and treated us just as a number, and there was nothing in there of meeting face to face to discuss things, as we had no idea there was a problem after three years of the grave being there.
“Losing a child never leaves you, and asking for Ebonie’s grave to be changed has just reopened old wounds, especially with the way the council has gone about it, which I think is disgusting.
“I’m heartbroken at the thought of changing the grave, which we have made into a fairy garden to visit with the kids as a family – the way we have set up Ebonie’s grave has given us all a connection to her and we often rearrange the stones on it.”
As the grieving mother added, the fairy garden and the decorations represent the family’s way of staying connected to their daughter.
“I remember being in the hospital and the staff there telling me that I had to decide whether to bury or cremate my baby before she was even born, and I just couldn’t take any of it in,” Kelly continued.
“In the end, we chose a burial, and now Ebonie’s grave is the only thing that I’ve got to connect me to her as I have nothing else of her, only the garden that we created at the cemetery.
“A part of me went with her when I lost Ebonie and I have to try and build myself up every day – the scars are there and now more wounds are being added.
“If I knew the rules around the graves, to begin with, I would have followed them, but to ask us to change the grave now seems so unfair.”
Kelly’s partner and Ebonie’s father, Tony Wilson, also spoke out and shared his disgust for the council.
“We take our 11-year-old and seven-year-old kids to Ebonie’s grave and also our baby girl – our eldest have made a connection with their sister through her fairy garden, and we can’t now tell them that it has to come down, as they’d just be so devastated,” he said.
“Making the plot look nice is really important, as otherwise, it’s just a depressing piece of grass, but with the garden we’ve created, it looks really nice.
“It’s disgusting, I and my partner have been crying about being told to take it down – it’s absolutely s***.
“It’s not just us affected either, as there are lots of plots near Ebonie’s where babies are buried, so a lot of parents will be grieving again like us when they’re given the news that they need to scale back their plots.”
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