A husband has shared how his in-laws refused to babysit their daughter for free so he and his wife decided not to let them see their grandchild unless they make the decision to see them on the weekends.
Taking to Reddit, the man explained that his mother-in-law was about to retire and that she loved the idea of babysitting.
But his father-in-law never liked the idea of ‘free handouts’ but would help his daughter with financial needs.
“Since her mom would be retiring it would work out perfectly. And they’d get to see their grandchild every day or most days,” he wrote.
But after welcoming the baby, his father-in-law started talking about babysitting.
“He started to compare pricing of daycares in today’s market and how much he would start charging us weekly,” he wrote. “After his research, he surmised his amount to $400/wk for babysitting and $100 for weekends and we were shocked.”
The couple then considered taking their daughter to a daycare so they didn’t have to drive back and forth.
“It’s not like my wife and I were well off either, we make enough to live comfortably,” he went on. “So it became a huge discussion between us to the point where we almost decided that they weren’t going to see their grandchild unless we decide to see them on the weekends.”
He then asked Reddit users if he and his wife were in the wrong for expecting her parents to babysit without payments but internet users were quick to praise the grandparents.
One person commented: “You aren’t entitled to free babysitting.”
Another said: “Your in-laws have done the whole married with children thing, the young’ns are all launched. They have the house to themselves again. And I’m sure they are enjoying it. Oh, but wait. Kiddo wants to pawn off HER kiddo on us and take us back to our hectic parenting days again????? OH HECK NO.”
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Old people are tired and childcare is a full-time job. We don’t have the energy for that. Especially for free. Grandparents want to spend quality time with their grandkids, they don’t want to be the ones raising them. Seems awful to expect that. As a grandmother I would offer to do it 1 or 2 days a week but not full-time. Is hopefully my kid would offer to pay me for those days. Not a lot but something.
Speak for yourself. My grandkids are here daily and I love it
I agree with you!!
I watch my grandson 1 day a week to save my daughter a little money. I also watch him when the babysitter is on vacation or needs a day off for some reason. I personally think daycare, in home or a facility, is good for the child to get socialization. I have 2 kids. 1 stayed home and my parents watched them. They are still socially awkward. My other child went to daycare and did much better than the sibling. It’s a tuff call in today’s world. If that’s what you really want I’d come up with a compromise with the weekly amount.
Before I retired, I worked days and my daughter worked nights. I’d come home from work and take over the baby. They lived with me. It worked perfect and than I was young enough to do it. I do think if able grandparents should help once in awhile but not on a full time basis
Parenting and grandparenting are two different things. Your parents have worked, parented you which was a full time job, many things come into play when someone is baby-setting verses visiting. Leaving grandkids with their grandparents is a heavy wieght on the older people. They love them dearly, but the load and responsibility may prove to be too miuch on the retired people. Best left to the younger ones. Let them visit they will grow real strong bonds that will most definately help the younger parents and the children in years to come, but leave the parently to them.
There are advantages and disadvantages to daycare.
There are always “bugs” going around, so be prepared for your child to be sick a lot…oh, and you can’t send them back until they are well. However, they do get interaction with other kids (which can be good or bad, depending on how said kids are being raised)
If you don’t think your folks are worth the cost of daycare, then suck it up buttercup, and go to daycare. But be prepared to stay home with the child when they get sick, cause Grandma and Grandpa would be crazy to cover for you!
PS: Aren’t you acting a little “entitled”?
Withholding (or even considering it) your grandchild from her grandparents because you can’t have your way is very petty, do you also hold your breath when you can’t get your way? Sounds to me like there is more than one child here who needs guidance
I had my first grandchild as much or more than her parents due to circumstances. The second was same year but lived part in another state. Upon moving close, I had both daily. The third I offered two days a week but circumstances againg changed that. I now live in a different state and am so glad they are all close because now they’ll actually stay with me in spurts. The real thing here is free vs pay. Money always ruins things. I never wanted to charge, I guess if I really needed money, I’d hope my kids would offer. I do, however, believe these ‘kids’ shouldn’t expect their parents to do this free or at all. It should be a discussion with compromise. Sometimes the free is important until gram/gramps allow behaviors mom/dad don’t. Sounds silly but can reall cause a rift. Also when your parents DO sit, have a back up for tines they may need off. I’m retired, I may want a vacation lol.
My parents watched my son while I worked. Mom always said she helped raise him and I totally agree. I paid her a small amount and she always spent it on my son and I. When I told it was for her she said it was her money and she could spend it anyway she wanted. Lol I think the amount they are asking is a bit high but they definitely deserve something. Your children are worth it.
Grandparents should NOT be expected to look after the children on a long term basis….if they offer once in a while that’s great, but expected without pay is just not right….i knew someone who’s mother gave up work to look after the grandkids just so her daughter could continue to have the nice things in life….so entitled if you ask me, i told her so too….if you don’t want to look after them, don’t have them
Babysitting is a job so I think the in laws should get paid just like you would at any job
Should offer them something. Ask maybe one or two days a week. Also I know of grandparents looking after two children they get tired they haven’t time for them selves. Also as child gets older they get heavier when you ar3 elderly your not as strong or as Kwok and gets tired easily. Wake up and smell the roses
From 3 months on took care of GDAUGHTER 3-4 days a week, provided pick up service too. hubby and I loved it, gson 2 years later..was hectic and then pandemic watched more…Now they are 5 and 7 and in school, provide pickup 2 days a week. Hubby and I also managed to travel, time to ourselves..Now that the full time over kinda sad. Was an honor and privilege to be so much a part of their lives…and I’m 70 hubby 80. We run races etc..mvery fit, they helped! So miss the infant days
I was nanny to my twin granddaughter’s for 12 years, I went to their home every morning, best years of my life and they grew up and soon I will be a GGma. ❤️❤️