“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
” A powerful sentiment indeed. Powerful…and not always true.
Nadirah Angail, a mental health professional, works with women who are pregnant and/or new moms or soon to be a mom.
Recently, talking on how choosing poor words can affect women, Nadirah told, “There are so many variables that go into when/if a woman gives birth.
But most people don’t think of that when they ask these questions.” Nadirah has had with people who do not realize how personal and private decision and ability to give birth is.
To demonstrate how hurting and harmful words can be, Nadirah wrote an article that went viral over the internet in no time.
The article is titled “Mind your own womb”, and is an emotional text covering three fictional women, showing that there is always more beneath the surface.
Picture of a woman who is 30, having no children yet! (Not an actual photo)
This may be the reaction of a woman who always gets questions similar to this “Still no kids?”, from friends, relatives and even from random people. According to Nadirah’s explanation and experience, the response of that women may vary from day to day, but if often includes forced smiles and restraint.
The woman who always gets this kind of question often answers, “Nope, not yet.” Such women hold her smile and often cries in loneliness.
Nadirah also explains the reason why such women cry because she has been pregnant 4 times and miscarried every one.
Cries because she started trying for a baby on her wedding night, and that was 5 years ago. Cries because her husband has an ex-wife and she has given him children. Cries because she wants desperately to try in vitro but can’t even afford the deposit.
Cries because she’s done in vitro (multiple rounds) and still has no children. Cries because her best friend wouldn’t be a surrogate. “It would be too weird,” she said. Cries because her medication prevents pregnancy.
Somewhere else there’s another woman: 34, 5 children
Nadirah wrote about another type of woman who is 34, having 5 children.
People often come up with a question like “5? Good lord, I hope you’re done!”, and such kind of woman laughs with those who pass such comments, but she always tries to change the topic.
However, on some, another day, that woman cries because she is pregnant again and feels like she has to hide the joy. Cries again because she wants a big family and cries because of people who are coming up with such disturbing questions.
Another woman: 40, one child
People never miss a chance to pass a comment, and for such women, the question is like “Only one? You never wanted any more?”.
Such kind of women replies that she is happy with my one.
But such kind of woman also cries at times because her one pregnancy was a miracle. Cries because her son still asks for a brother or sister.
Cries because she always wanted at least 3. Cries because her second pregnancy had to be terminated to save her life.
Cries because her doctor says it would be “high-risk.” Cries because she’s struggling to care for the one she has.
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