Losing a loved one is one of the most devastating things a person can go through and there is no time frame or handbook when it comes to dealing with grief.
But one man has shared that he’s considering divorcing his wife after she lost her mother because she was left heartbroken following her death.
Writing on Reddit, he explained that his mother-in-law died from lung cancer five years ago and it wasn’t an easy or peaceful death.
“Our lives understandably went on pause after the diagnosis and we both spent a lot of time off work helping care for her mother. My wife had a pretty typical showing of grief at the time, cycling through different stages. Same with our three kids,” the 36-year-old man wrote.
After her death, his wife ‘got really bad.’
“For months after she could barely function. I gently took over pretty much all the responsibilities in the household and with the kids. She had been attending grief counseling since the diagnosis and continued after the death,” he went on.
The man shared that he was very supportive and that his wife cried on his shoulder every night.
But five years later, the frustrated husband said that his wife doesn’t seem to be any better.
“(She’s) in bed half the day, crying, does not want to interact with the family, does not have the energy to do anything around the house.
“This will go on every single day until about a week after the holiday ends. Every holiday is intense grief, just as much now as it was 5 years ago. October, November, December, and January, her mom’s birthday month, every year are particularly bad; I am essentially without my wife, and am a single parent to my three kids.
“All together, she is completely incapacitated by grief for about 6 months out of the year, and has been the past 5 years.”
The man said he has spoken to therapists, his family and friends but he thinks that he’s running out of options.
“I feel awful for considering a divorce, but I don’t know what else to do,” he added.
Reddit users were also heartbroken by the situation, with one person commenting: “My dad acts the same way your wife does, and he has for 25+ years. Every holiday, every big event, every birthday or anniversary (whether it’s the deceased or living), he is sad and/or at the graveyard.”
Another wrote: “Believe me when I say your kids will notice, and they will start saying, ‘She’ll care more about me when I’m dead’. I’ve been saying it for years, and it’s one of the most hurtful thoughts to have.”
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